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Boss Beaches

17 Jul

On Saturday, Valerie, Sara and I hopped on our respective mass transit chariots and booked it to Rockaway Beach.

It was a scorcher – even by my jaded Southern perceptions of heat – and, by the end of the day, I was totally baked. Yes Mom, I slathered myself in SPF 30 but even still my back was fried. I’m sure it didn’t help that Valerie, despite my objections, insisted on squirting me with her banana boat bacon grease oil. So my poor back baked like a giant sheet cake. I was so well done by the end of the day that when I got home, I completely passed out. It was as though the sun had totally siezed my powers; wheezed my juice, if you will.

The Marcy stop, awaiting my silver chariot.

Valerie shows Sara her eyes on the platform for the A.

The A train to Rockaway.

Sara’s flowery arm.

Chicken scratch on the train window.

Abandoned vacation homes.“I’m a photographer!”“Show my monogram”Somehow, I don’t think these are professional blueprints.

Rations. The beach, finally.


…And they called themselves “drowned rats.”Long  journey home.

Metsy Weather

23 Jun

Yesterday marked my first Mets game ever and, true to form, those underdogs were defeated not only by the rain but also by the pesky Oakland A’s.

Of course, I adore baseball – what am I a Communist? However, no patriotic love is great enough to weather the conditions of a 45-minute subway commute to Queens alongside tens of stinky, cranky New  Yorkers. That was basically the closest thing I’ve come to experiencing hell on Earth. The Mets game? Much better.

Even though it was pouring for the first hour we were at Citi Field, the rain let up just in time for Adam, Sara, Dre, and myself to eat some junk food, yell at the megatron (Steve Guttenberg was present!), and for me to photo-bomb some poor couple’s pic.

Good, old-fashioned American FUN.

imageHell on Earth.
imageMessy, messy, Metsy.
imageSara waited in the rain for a Shake Shack burger and fries.
imageWhen the rain let up, it wasn’t so bad.
imageThis is after we saw Steve Guttenberg.
imageDre and Adam pigging out.PHOTO-BOMB!

Halloween Home Stretch

28 Oct

I’ve officially completed every task on my Halloween List. Now all there is left to do is “strut that ass” at a couple parties this weekend.

I ditched my previous ideas, which involved going as my favorite New York-based characters, for a second year as an inanimate object. Last year I was a can of IRN BRU, Scotland’s favorite soda. This year, I’m going as a something equally important to New Yorkers – a MetroCard.

Finished painting my costume last night and tonight all I need to do is piece my creation together. I like to think of myself as a nerdier, less-smart, and more innocent Dr. Frankenstein.

imageIt still needs shoulder straps.

Pumptastic, Cornmazin’, Hayrific…

16 Oct

I must say, the Saturday we spent at the Queens County Farm Corn Maze (“Maize Maze,” if you will), pumpkin “patch,” hay-ride, and feeding zoo, was one of my best days in the nearly eight months that I’ve been living in New York.


The farm is in the Great Neck area of Queens.


All of this, in the middle of a Queens suburb!

(L-R) Tim, Sara, Adam, Dorothy, Lindsay, and myself waiting in the line for the Maze. Photo courtesy of Tim.


Once inside the Maze, it took us almost an hour-and-a-half to get out!


Sara in the pumpkin patch.


This guy was greedy for lettuce.

Petting pigs!

These pigs were… pigs. Photo courtesy of Adam.


I bought one of these heirloom tomatoes.


These apples made the best cider.


A cider, which we enjoyed later on Sara’s roof in Bushwick.


I carved the best little pumpkin.


I named him Dave.

Queens Corn Maze and Hay Ride

13 Oct

I can just feel my Halloween spirit strengthening as I slash through autumnal activities on “the list.” If all goes according to plan, my Halloweenie will soon be more powerful than Vigo the Carpathian and Gozer the Gozarian – COMBINED!

This weekend, the rampage  continues at the Queens County Farm Museum, home to the Queens Corn Maze, hay ride, and pumpkin patch. It also just so happens to be the oldest working farm in the New York City-area. We’ll arrive just before dusk, so we can cram in the hayride, pumpkin-picking, and animal-feeding with just enough time to get lost in the dark.

As a side note, I also neglected to mention that I am redeeming my voucher with Ghosts of New York. With any luck, I can get in on a tour by tomorrow.


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